Food Traditions

Do you have any food traditions with your family or friends?

For many years I hosted a queer Thanksgiving for my friends and whomever wanted to visit. I made non-traditional meals, like stuffed shells and random vegetable side dishes. However, my family meals were always what I consider “normal”. There would be a turkey, a ham, ham noodles (egg noodles cooked in ham juice), green bean casseroles, corn on the cob, stuffing and hawaiian bread rolls. The same meal year after year. My grandmother made it, my mom started making it and now I find myself wanting to make the ham and ham noodles. My siblings and I are particularly attached to this ham and noodles tradition and it occurs at family get togethers even if it isn’t a holiday.

This year I will be preparing dinner for my hubby and his mom who lives with us. I am trying to think of an interesting vegetable dish that I can make. So far, nothing is saying “cook me” and trust me, I cook A LOT, so having no ideas sucks. My hubby will make his gramma’s candied yams and we’ll have stuffing. I am also at a loss for desserts- I have NEVER made a pie before! haha. Maybe this year I will try my hand at pies. I’m great with cookies and cakes so that would be new territory. But is a holiday meal really the time to try something new? What if my pie is awful?

 

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Friendship

I often reflect on how different friendships are now than 5 or 10 years ago. I have a much harder time meeting people that I want to sit down with and pour my heart out to. I also have a hard time finding people that share the same interests as I do or that want to participate in outings that don’t involve alcohol. What has changed?! When did I get old and boring?

What I really want in a friendship is someone to get coffee/tea with and talk about philosophy, intellectual things and our feelings. I said it, I want to have deeper friendships than talking about tv shows and our jobs. I don’t want acquaintance friendships. I want friends that I can call when  my relative dies, who will offer me a hug and I know what they are saying without them saying anything. I do have some friends like this. Unfortunately my nearest and dearest are very far away from me. This is disheartening when I’m feeling lonely and just want a hug and chat. It’s been so long since I’ve had a genuine friend hug that I wouldn’t even know one if I got one. 

It seems like when I find someone that I want to be friends with, I have a hard time letting them get to know me. Analyzing myself, I think that I do this because I’ve moved so much and I tend to be miserable once I leave people behind. Maybe I have some weird wall now that doesn’t make it easy to tell my stories. I’ll listen to potential new-friend stories all day but I’m hesitant to share my own. It’s a sad truth, really. I need to get better about sharing myself, then maybe it’d be easier to make friends in this adult world. 

you know you’re an adult when

We moved in a nicer, new apartment in January. Though I was still working a job that didn’t pay very well, we knew that we wanted to upgrade most of our furniture. At the time I was in a job that provided no extra funding for our champagne dreams. So, we have been patient. A few months after we moved in we were able to replace the living room furniture, which was the priority. We now have lovely, matching adult furniture! It looks great and we can seat more guests when we have folks over. Our couch also has a pull out bed to sleep any over-night guests we may have. *hint hint* Come visit! 

Last week we purchased a king-size bed, a lovely upgrade from my beloved queen-size pillowtop bed of my dreams. We needed more space due to our pets sleeping with us and it’s getting frustrating fighting for a place to put our legs during sleep time. We have been talking about the new bed for a while and then we happened to be at a store that sells bed and saw one we liked. Without delay, the bed was paid for that day! Craziness! It’s so hard to wrap my head around us not struggling financially for these types of purchases.

In January we are going to Florida and will be staying in a fancy suite with a full kitchen! I cannot tell you how excited I was to find a place to stay that will be comfortable, overlooks the bay and isn’t a trucker motel. We’ve stayed in many 3 star hotels but this will be our first fancy stay. It’s going to be glorious, with all the comforts of home! 

Throughout my 20s I thought I’d never get out of financial struggles. I worked really hard to finish my degree and to find a decent job so that those struggles wouldn’t follow me into my more adult years. Mission Accomplished kids!! For the first time in my life, I am in a stable financial situation that I don’t have to worry about. My hubby is a lot less stressed now that I am making a decent salary and that makes us happier over all. Who knew finances played such a big part of being happy? 

When did you know that you had made it to adulthood? 

Aging

I will be 31 years old in 2 months. It feels like it was just last week that I was turning 30. It was very scary for me to be the “big 3-0”. I had so many ideas of what life would be like by then, don’t we all? I had a whole idea of what my life was going to be like and I only got half there.

At the time I was turning 30: I was lucky enough to find an awesome partner and two great dogs. I finished up  my bachelor’s degree. I was living independently and enjoying my job though I knew it was coming to a close soon. This year I have had to find a new job and I was successful. I don’t always think it’s the best use of my skills but at least my skills are being utilized. We have moved into a larger more spacious apartment and I REALLY adore the space and location. We have managed to make a few great friends and feel like we’ll be calling this state our “home” for decades to come. So, we’ve agreed to settle down. We also agreed to post-pone any family decisions for a while. We have not been willing to discuss having biological children yet. I’ve begun to think about it more, it’s right there in the back of mind on a daily basis. Sadly, my love is not ready to discuss these matters. He’s older than I am and if we wait too long he’ll be in his 40s! That isn’t the end of the world but I think it makes parenting harder. I’m trying to get over my feelings of “go see the fertility dr right now” and just settle in on us being happy.

Somehow, right now, that is not enough to keep me content.