Aging

I will be 31 years old in 2 months. It feels like it was just last week that I was turning 30. It was very scary for me to be the “big 3-0”. I had so many ideas of what life would be like by then, don’t we all? I had a whole idea of what my life was going to be like and I only got half there.

At the time I was turning 30: I was lucky enough to find an awesome partner and two great dogs. I finished up  my bachelor’s degree. I was living independently and enjoying my job though I knew it was coming to a close soon. This year I have had to find a new job and I was successful. I don’t always think it’s the best use of my skills but at least my skills are being utilized. We have moved into a larger more spacious apartment and I REALLY adore the space and location. We have managed to make a few great friends and feel like we’ll be calling this state our “home” for decades to come. So, we’ve agreed to settle down. We also agreed to post-pone any family decisions for a while. We have not been willing to discuss having biological children yet. I’ve begun to think about it more, it’s right there in the back of mind on a daily basis. Sadly, my love is not ready to discuss these matters. He’s older than I am and if we wait too long he’ll be in his 40s! That isn’t the end of the world but I think it makes parenting harder. I’m trying to get over my feelings of “go see the fertility dr right now” and just settle in on us being happy.

Somehow, right now, that is not enough to keep me content.

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