The majority of people that I know are either “settled down” or are seeking to “settle down”. I have always been hesitant to settle down, though. Before I was married, I was terrified that it meant I’d be “settled”, all the fun sucked out of my life. Seriously, that huge commitment was terrifying for me. All I’ve ever wanted is more adventures, no strings attached and a life that is not stale.
I spent most of my 20’s moving around to different states, new apartments, traveling to places every chance that I had. That was important to me, to feel like I could go when I wanted to go. Luckily, my husband is just as excited about traveling as I am so I have not been homebound for the past few years. However, we are reaching the settled down point.
We have lived in Philadelphia for almost 3 years and we just re-signed our lease for our current apartment. Both of us have jobs that could be live-long careers if we chose them to be. We have essentially decided to call this city our home and sometimes that’s hard for me. The reality that I’ll never get to know another new city the way that I have so many others- Minneapolis, Flint, Asheville, Huntsville, Philly- is difficult at times. I’m terrified of being in a rut, of having no new experiences and feeling “old”.
As I age, I am passing by a lot of different timelines that I had for myself. I haven’t had the children that I had wanted by age 30. I haven’t had any major purchases, I just got my first credit card last year – I’m frugal like that. We may never purchase a house in part because that is another sign of being settled down and my husband says it’s too much work (he was a homeowner previously). The only goals that I have accomplished include finishing my undergrad degree, finding a stable job related to my interests and finding someone to spend my life with (that one was HARD).
Given all these factors, perhaps settling down isn’t the scary thing that I fear it is. I am slowly making more friends in my local area and settling into my neighborhood and job and those are good things! I’m not traveling this road alone and I shouldn’t expect to be moving every time I turn around. Maybe I’m settled down and just in denial. 🙂