who is invited?

Do you recall my summer work drama in which several people quit and my life got easier? Well, today was our unit holiday party. The director invited those employees to join us. Yes, she did! She didn’t tell me this. I found out when I saw them come in, together, shortly before the party. Like wtf are you doing here?

I was so anxious that I wanted to throw up. It was about a half hour before the party and I could hear them greeting people and going office to office. They skipped past mine, of course. I wanted to escape the party all together. But I went, head held high. I ended up sitting across from them. Strangely they didn’t sit at the table with us, but in a outer ring of chairs. I kept catching their eye and it was hard not to sick my tongue out or some other 3rd grade reaction.

One of them, my “friend” who turned on me, stayed in the office for several hours afterward. She was looking through old files and socializing. It was very inappropriate. It was extremely uncomfortable for me to have her in my work space when she is just a visitor. I smiled at her each time our paths crossed and tried to appear unaffected. I wonder how I did.

On my way home now, to forget about all my ills.

Conflicting emotions

This is both an exciting and a sad time of year. My stepdad died on Dec 26, 2010. It’s a sadness that just doesn’t go away. This year’s holiday spirit seems a little crowded with my grandfather, sister-in-law, and cousin all dying earlier this year. Everything feels tainted by those losses.

In spite of the little things that remind me of lost relatives, I am baking up a storm.. seriously you have NO IDEA all of the cookies that have been through this house lately. It’s something that relaxes and distracts me. Things are also busy at work due to all the upcoming days off. We’re closed Dec 25-26 and Jan 1-2. We’ll get out early on Christmas + New Years Eve. Several 2.5 days in my future means cramming a lot of work into a little bit of time. EEEK!

Then before I know it my birthday is here again (Jan 5th). I am getting old before my very eyes and I don’t know where the time has went. I have no idea what I want to do to celebrate. C is taking me to see STOMP for the first time, should be fun. I really enjoy performing arts and that one seems to be popular so he planned the whole thing as a surprise but had to ask me if I’d like it or hate it before he got the tickets. haha.

In the new year, I have no idea what we’re going to be working on. Probably keeping our heads above water and delving into family building stuff again. Oh, the joys of serious decisions that (1) need to be made and (2) feel like they’d be better off postponed.

Food Adventures

This past week I tried several new recipes. I think the favorite for us was a Turkey pasta with peanut sauce. It’s a Thai inspired dish with a delicious peanut sauce, snow peas and left over Thanksgiving turkey with linguini noodles. I would eat that again. I also made stir-fry for the first time and was pleasantly surprised. I really liked the sauce and the vegetables were also great. Tomorrow night I’m making a new Thai dish tomorrow with chicken and vegetables with a garlic sauce. YUMMY!

It’s also Christmas cookie time. Do you bake cookies? Tonight I made my first cookie of the season, a peppermint swirl. It looks better than it tastes. I think the recipe calls for way to much mint extract and it’s like eating toothpaste. I’m glad I’m sending these cookies out to relatives and not keeping them at home. haha. The next cookie adventure is a filled cookie that C’s family always makes. He’s sick and so I’m in charge of making them.. but no pressure, right? I’ve never been in charges of these before and the dough is refrigerating and I’m not convinced the dough came out right. I’ll be making them after work tomorrow so we’ll see. I’ll post photos once I have all my cookies prepared and ready to mail. My goal is a cookie a day until Saturday and then I’ll mail them off. That means A LOT of cookies!

Do you have any food traditions around the holidays?