Conflicting emotions

This is both an exciting and a sad time of year. My stepdad died on Dec 26, 2010. It’s a sadness that just doesn’t go away. This year’s holiday spirit seems a little crowded with my grandfather, sister-in-law, and cousin all dying earlier this year. Everything feels tainted by those losses.

In spite of the little things that remind me of lost relatives, I am baking up a storm.. seriously you have NO IDEA all of the cookies that have been through this house lately. It’s something that relaxes and distracts me. Things are also busy at work due to all the upcoming days off. We’re closed Dec 25-26 and Jan 1-2. We’ll get out early on Christmas + New Years Eve. Several 2.5 days in my future means cramming a lot of work into a little bit of time. EEEK!

Then before I know it my birthday is here again (Jan 5th). I am getting old before my very eyes and I don’t know where the time has went. I have no idea what I want to do to celebrate. C is taking me to see STOMP for the first time, should be fun. I really enjoy performing arts and that one seems to be popular so he planned the whole thing as a surprise but had to ask me if I’d like it or hate it before he got the tickets. haha.

In the new year, I have no idea what we’re going to be working on. Probably keeping our heads above water and delving into family building stuff again. Oh, the joys of serious decisions that (1) need to be made and (2) feel like they’d be better off postponed.

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4 thoughts on “Conflicting emotions

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