It’s not what you think

I am that person, the one that always has a weird medical issue. In the past 3 years I have had at least 3 different weird infections that have required various medications and odd diagnoses. Today I expected the same kind of thing, but it was not my typical “how the hell do you get these things” doctor visit.

I’ve had this spot on my toenail since September. When my toenail got discolored I immediately stopped getting pedicures. I haven’t had one since that time. I read online that it could be an oxygen issue or a fungus so lay off the toe treatment and in a few months it’ll be better. It has only gotten darker, more colored, larger, and now painful. In the past 2 months I have been using over the counter cream to attempt to treat what I thought was  toenail fungus. The pain when it is touched isn’t awful or enough to really complain about but it is something that I notice and then move on to the next thing in my day. Yesterday both C and his mom were kind of hassling me about going to get it professionally looked at because it’s not getting better. Ok, fine.

Today I went to my physician’s office and found out that I do not have a fungus. Due to the length of time I have had it and the changes and discomfort the doctor was concerned. She excused herself to consult with others in the practice and then came back to the room 5 minutes later. She sat down beside me and said “I’m concerned it could be cancer, but it might be a unique infection.” I stared at her, right into her eyes, and knew she was serious. She asked if I had any questions and I asked what do I do to fix it. She said they already put in a referral for me to see a UPENN affiliated dermatologist to get it looked at and a biopsy if necessary.  I really tried not to freak out as I went to the check out counter and got my referral. I text C what was going on and I know it scared us both.

My dad’s family has cancer growing on trees, it’s everywhere. At least 10 people within 2 generations have had some variety of skin cancer in the past 5 years. My dad just got his second cancer diagnosis last week, my sister has pre-cancerous cells on her uterus that she gets scraped once a year, various cousins have had various parts taken off, tested, chemotherapied. It’s a thing, it’s our thing, and it’s not a thing that I wanted to have. I called my dad and talked to him about the little that the doctor said and he said at least they are doing the right thing. His started the same way, something small and ignoring it. Then going to the doctor and getting a referral for the dermatologist. They make the determination of what tests and come to a better conclusion apparently. Dad is currently seeing a derm about getting his new cancer removed so I suppose one can trust these specialists to know their business. I HOPE SO!

I’ve been googling and, if you weren’t aware, Bob Marley died of untreated toe cancer! Yes, toe cancer is a thing. I freaking hope that I don’t have toe melanoma. I hope that I have caught some random bacteria that is harvesting itself within my toenail and we can treat it and move on. My appointment with the dermatologist is 2 weeks away, June 25th. I hope I make it until then.

C leaves for a work trip on 6/13 and will be gone for a week. Hopefully the time breezes by and I won’t be freaking out while he is away. I hate extra stress when we are already dealing with buying a house and a TON of paperwork and drama related to that. Say a little prayer that everything falls into place without any bad news.

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