Everyone is making babies

We are on vacation in Minnesota. This is the land of my people. I have a large friend group here that I’m very attached to. We are here for 2 weddings. One was last Saturday and one is this coming Saturday. In the interim we are hanging out with people and catching up. We haven’t been back in 4 years so there is so much to catch up on.

Mainly, all of the lesbians in my circle are married or engaged..and the majority are pregnant or trying to conceive. This means many conversations about trying to get pregnant and why we don’t have kids. We haven’t discussed our decision to not try for kids in a while but it’s coming up daily this week. I can’t tell if it’s getting better or worse the more I talk about it. It makes me feel weird when others are so excited for babies and I’m saying “we are happy without them.” Nothing makes you rethink a good decision like other people staring at you like you’re crazy. 

My ex-wife and her new wife are expecting a child. That came as a very strange blow to me. I want her to be happy and have all the good things in life but I feel like I’m competing with her for life goals. Lol. It’s all mental drama on my end, I know. I think I wouldn’t feel upset by it if she was able to be an adult every time she sees me, instead of being awkward and making mean faces.How do we go from BFFs to enemies because I moved away? I’ll understand how that friendship died. Oh well.

Only 3 full days left to get in all the sights and joys of the Twin Cities. I can’t wait to see other friends in the coming days and attend my dear friends wedding on Saturday.