Crafts and coming out

We have a friend that we love very much. Said friend will be taking photos for us later this week when we are in Tennessee. We have been figuring out our props and what we are looking for in the foster to adopt photo shoot. We decided to go with some cheesy announcement type things and some solo and couple shots. She’s a great photographer and I’m excited to see what we create together! This photo is our “puzzle”  that C created. Most likely you readers will see the photos sooner than anyone in real life as I don’t plan to tell outsiders, aka relatives, until we are in the final classes in July. 

Speaking of coming out to relatives about our foster-to-adopt plans..when do we tell our family development coordinator that we aren’t a straight couple? There isn’t a box to check on any of the paperwork and I don’t know when to spill it. Perhaps during our first in-person meeting? I wish there had been a place on the forms but oh well. On the websites that have child profiles several children listed themselves as ok with two moms or dads but none mention lesbian-trans parents. Perhaps we are that unique? What if kids think we are weird? Do we tell them from the beginning that I’m not a hetero woman but that C is a hetero transman? So many questions! We tend to only be out to our friends and not to our colleagues so we aren’t familiar with telling strangers our status. 

What would you do?

Slowly trucking along

Last weekend we received paperwork from our assigned Family Development Coordinator. It was an introduction and to-do list. The list includes each of us getting 3 references, making a fire escape map, filling out an income sheet, and waiting for the FDC to call us about our first home visit. 

Additionally, we were given the schedule for upcoming adoption courses that are required. Two sets start a  May weekend that we are out of town and the next set isn’t until July. We signed up for July. We had hoped to be further along by the end of summer but it is what it is. This gives us ample time to get the fingerprints and security clearances done. Logically, the home study will be completed by the time our classes are complete. We’ll see though. My time line isn’t everyone’s timeline.

Thinking that we would be licensed and approved by August meant possibly taking in a child before the school year.In anticipation of that, I wanted to go on a babymoon. August is also our anniversary month. We started planning and getting excited but now with my work obligations (very important court dates) and our financial situation changing (due to saving for kids and getting the house kid-friendly) there may be no babymoon.I feel like I have to stuff all the fun couples-only things into the next 6 months because our time will be very different after that. Right now we have the following trips on the horizon, not including baby moon. 

March 30-April 2nd in Alabama for a baby shower (driving)
May 4-7th in New Hampshire to visit MIL grave and see friends (driving)

June 17-24 in upstate New York at a friend’s cabin with them (driving)

November 23ish in Florida for Thanksgiving (flying)

 Did anyone else go on a vacation weeks before having a child come home via birth or adoption/foster? Looking at this crazy schedule should we plan an extra trip somewhere like Seattle or South Dakota to see the sights, maybe a long weekend? Should we go somewhere close to home like Ohio, North Carolina,or Maine instead? I’m trying to avoid being deathly hot.

Am I being too eager or optimistic thinking we will get a placement within a few weeks of being licensed?