When will it stop

I am really stressed out about this whole parenting thing and we aren’t even doing it yet! I may be overloading myself on websites and literature related to foster care, adoption, and parenting the traumatized child. The logistics of day care/school, the general rules for when to introduce new people into a foster kids life, and how to prepare are home are a bit overwhelming. I wish I could shut my brain off and tackle one mind-stresser at a time. I tend to dive into new knowledge and then overthink it.

When we were trying to get pregnant I read so much about how to get and stay pregnant. I started blogging to connect with a community I hoped to one day be part of. Most of the people who were ttc when I was, have toddlers now or are newly pregnant. I can’t think of a single blog friend who “gave up” and is childfree by choice or switched gears to adoption. I have newer blog friends who went the infertility route before exploring foster care or adoption but we didn’t take this walk together. I have friends (shout out to you) who were ttc for some of the time that we were and who went the adoption route years before we even had a serious conversation about it. Family building is stressful and intense and a solo ride for the most part. At least that is how it feels right this minute. We don’t know anyone else who is in this transition. So I drown myself in books and try to relate to the stories. Speaking of books…

Billi Cole 7

We have our next visit with the social worker on Monday at 9am. It should be okay. We will be discussing our parents and marriage. I think I’m as mentally prepared as I possibly can be for these conversations. What’s the worst that can  happen? We end up crying about our own traumatic upbringing? It’s unlikely that she will “fail” us. haha.

Aunt 3x

My sister in law was induced on Wednesday night due to too much amniotic fluid. I don’t know the ins and outs of the issue but her medical folks felt they needed to get Maxine out so into labor she went. Yesterday my SIL was 37 weeks along so they felt it was safe. My niece was born at approximately 9pm EST and is doing well. She’s tiny- less than 6 pounds and only 19 inches. In Alabama you must stay in hospital for 48hrs while they perform “state tests” on your child. Not sure wtf that actually means but the new parents are happy to be in the center of attention in the hospital.

Mama wouldn’t allow photos of herself for the first 12hrs afterward but baby looks great!

My younger brother and his first child. 💜

I’m not there, which is sad, but I did see them a few weeks ago and will see them in a few months hopefully. They’re strange new parents so I likely wouldn’t be allowed to visit immediately anyway. I’m glad not to be in the mix of family drama and hurt feelings at the hospital. I can enjoy her arrival from afar. 

This is my 2nd niece and I also have a nephew. Man, I never thought my little bro would have a kid before me but it’s ok. I’m happy for them and for our journey. 

First meeting with FDC

Our Family Development Coordinator came over on April 12th. She is a nice woman who was easy to talk with. I wouldn’t say that we accomplished much but took care of necessary business. We filled out paperwork to complete clearances and received some information about child hard- specifically how to put a newborn to bed, how to use car seats, and keeping HIV+ childrens privacy. It was really informal and not as stressful as I’d imagined. 

On April 27 she will return to interview us about our parents and our marriage. That’ll be more interesting, I’m sure. Writing our autobiographies brought up a lot of stuff and I’m not looking forward to actually discussing it live with her. We didn’t exactly come out to her either. In my autobiography I mentioned previous relationships with women but C didn’t discuss his gender identity at all. We didn’t bring it up while filling out the clearance paperwork either, which I thought was a good time for C to mention it. I prompted him but he didn’t take the bait. I don’t like holding on to things when it’s important so hopefully the next meeting will be a better time to discuss it. 

For now, we get copies of important documents and get them to her asap. Nothing too strenuous. She said if all goes according to timeline, we’d get our first placement in August.

At church today we told some friends what we have been up to. Word of mouth is the best way to share info in my experience. Before we know it, everyone will know we are trying to be licensed foster parents.

Dream vacations

I am doing the 52 Lists Project book this year. We are in week 15 and my prompt was Dream Trips. Here’s my list!

I hope to go on some kind of non-family related vacation next year, with a kid or two. We’ll see how that plays out though. 

What are your dream trips? What do you like to do on holiday?
* keeping my mind busy since we have our first home visit on April 12*